Father figure..!

A few years ago, while talking about the next man in her life, Hollywood actress Sharon Stone is reported to have told a newspaper she is looking for a father figure for her three children. So the bewitching actress walks over to the Institute of Father's and says in her sexy voice, "Dean! I'm willing to pay top dollar! I need a father, someone who's topped the college of fathers! Who's excelled in all the subjects fathers study and is ripe and ready for fatherhood!" The Dean looks at her, wishes he was younger, hastily puts aside such lusty thoughts, "Okay," he smiles, "you may choose! Here's the first one; a bit domineering though!" "Domineering!" says Sharon, "that means he'll bring my kids up with authority!"
"Also," says the Dean sadly, "he'll think he's always right! Yer kids may feel crushed by his dominance, may lose interest, wait to be 18 to get away from the house! And with his ways he'll leave you washed out!" "Ouch!" shouts Sharon quickly and looks for the next man, "who's this? Looks charmin' and determined huh?" "Will make you rich quickly," says the Dean, "will see your kids have enough and more, but is deceiving and dishonest!"
"And my lil' ones will become the same!" murmurs Sharon to herself, then hears a noise in the next room where her children are, she walks over to see a man standing in front of the TV they are watching. "If you don't eat dinner you don't watch TV!" shouts the tall fellow.
"What's he doing?" whispers Sharon as she looks at her petrified children. "Ah!" says the Dean, "that's the threatening type, he's always threatening to lock them up, throw away their TV or ground them!" "It could be good discipline for them what?"
"But with no communication whatsoever!" says the Dean sadly, "he won't explain his actions; its threats, threats and threats!"
A red faced fellow comes into the room, "What's wrong with him?" asks the pretty actress.
"Watch out!" shouts the Dean, "He's going to explode! He's the always exploding father!"
"Run children!" screams Sharon and runs with them just in time, before the man starts ranting and raving. They go outside where she's in time to see a man leave, he is good looking, wishes the children goodbye and smiles at her as he hurries off, "Wait!" shouts Sharon, "You seem like a good father!" The man smiles and rushes on. "Too busy!" says the Dean, "he's a workaholic, a good man who your children will never see!" The actress looks at the dean and bursts into tears, "Aren't there men who make good fathers?" she cries. "Oh yes, there is!" says the dean, "A wise father! A man who works hard, but has time for his kids, who is there to teach them to ride a bike, is there to lift them when they fall and laughs with them when they get up on their own!" "Doesn't this institute make such a man?" asks Sharon. "No," smiles the dean, "a good wife moulds such a man just as a loving husband makes a good mother of his wife..!"
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