Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby.

And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments.

He hears a priest come in. “Father, forgive I tink its been a while since I’ve been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be.”

The priest replies, “Get out, you idiot. You’re on my side!”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just compliment it and then get mad when it won't screw.