Many of the male members of the family now appreciate and inspire female members to pursue a career but leap backward when it comes to share daily household chores: cooking, cleaning, washing, care giving, tidying and organizing house, etc. Ironically, the same individuals praise men who are cooking or cleaning outside the home for earning income. As for occupations, men do not mind to cross gender boundaries and work in female-dominated jobs; but they are so reluctant to lend a helping hand around the house. Housework responsibilities, thus, are unequally left to women in majority households. The situation gets worse for married working women in nuclear families. Husbands and wives both come back from works; wives get engaged in home maintenance, while husbands act like house guests who only nurture themselves and wait to be served by the host. Consequently, employed women having such guest husbands remain locked into a ‘double-shift’ of duties: for their family and for their job.
At present, women have the opportunity to go beyond their traditional roles of homemaker and caregiver. They have proved their unique qualities by taking the challenges of working outside the home. Though it is not an option for many women not to work; couples are often forced to income jointly due to rising living costs. However, women’s employment status has not led to any substantial changes in the gender division of household labor. The study (1986) of Glenna Spitze, Professor of Sociology at State University of New York, confirms: Woman's decision-making power may increase in proportion to her income contribution, but her ability to redistribute household tasks does not. Consequently, dealing with the double shift culture to balance family and work life has become the prime source of stresses for career-oriented women. In addition, the biggest regret working mothers have for not having enough quality time with their children in their early years, which is very critical for children’s mental and psychosocial development. A growing number of women believe, chasing a career means they miss out on a decent family life, while giving priority on home and children, on the other hand, puts their careers on the backburner including motherhood penalty. Inadequate personal time, reduced sleep, physical ailing, sour family atmosphere, limited social interaction, etc. are some of the harsh realities that many employed women have to face. Moreover in many cases, neither their efforts on domestic front are being significantly counted nor their sufferings are being recognized by the male members of the family.
The male-dominated orthodox society is now liberal enough towards women if they go outside for job but is still sarcastic if men contribute to inside job i.e. housework. Male counterparts who are so active on the issue of gender equality at workplace often forget the same principles when they get back home. Though there are perfect husbands who love their wives unconditionally and do not hesitate to share any precious things with them, but find it extremely difficult when it comes to share household tasks! In cases when husbands do some of the chores at home: many regard it as their optional rather than actual responsibility; some see it as helping out the wives out of compassion; and some may consider their contributions to domestic labor praiseworthy that deserve proper acknowledgement not only by the wives but others too, while they themselves take their wives’ contributions for granted. To the assumption that the major reason men do not do housework is due to time constraints, American Sociology Professors Shelley Coverman and Joseph F. Sheley found (during their survey in 1986): While men's work time decreased over a ten-year period, they used their increased "free" time in leisure pursuits, not housework.
Traditional division of housework is deeply rooted in the mind of the patriarchal society. This biased set-up (which might be rational for the past) inadvertently perpetuates male chauvinism by passing it down to next male-line generations. Toni M. Calasanti and Carol A. Bailey, authors of the paper titled “Gender Inequality and the Division of Household Labor in the United States and Sweden” (published by University of California Press in 1991) drew the notion from a socialist-feminist approach that gender inequality stems from the intersection of capitalism and patriarchy. USA-based Professor Catherine E. Ross argued in her paper (titled "The Division of Labor at Home” in 1987): The division of labor in the past was economically rational because women were at home and could perform the more time-consuming tasks. She also claimed: Some research has found that husbands with traditional gender-role values contribute less to household tasks and those with less traditional values participate more. Toni M. Calasanti and Carol A. Bailey also stated in their paper: Gender-role ideology is related to education and occupational prestige; those persons with higher levels of schooling and occupational prestige are expected to have more egalitarian attitudes. Professor Ross suggested: The person who has more time at home will perform more domestic tasks; if husbands and wives are employed an equal number of hours, they should both perform equal amounts of domestic labor.
Men often fail to realize that their prejudiced attitudes and mentalities may unintentionally cause gratuitous suffering to their beloved wives, which in turn takes a high toll on them too. Couples therapist Isiah McKimmie notes that when household responsibilities are unequally left to women, they can be left feeling tired and drained; this can put pressure on husband-wife relationship and intimacy. Several studies find: Couples who share housework together are happier. The old fixed roles of man and woman in traditional marriages are now required to be reshuffled under the current circumstances of changing social and economic scene. What should be counted now is the degree of togetherness between husband and wife, which can create mutual understanding and respect in their relationship, and make their marriage happier and more satisfying.
It is important to note that no legal systems have ever restricted men from doing household chores, nor have compelled women to do so. Domestic division of labor, therefore, should not be based on “gender” or “spouses’ relative contributions to family income”; it should be based on coherent considerations of who has the most time and scope. Particularly when both spouses are employed full-time, both should be responsible for housework at their convenience. According to new researches, younger men (in comparison to older men) are more favorable toward gender equality and are also more egalitarian in their attitudes. This might have a major impact on equalizing the allocation of household tasks among future couples. Newly married couples are expected to start taking equal part in house maintenance and childcare as the house is not only the wife's house, but the husband’s house too; the children are not only the wife's children, but the husband’s children too.
New parents should train their sons to be responsible adults, who would feel proud for doing chores at home, instead of feeling shy or uncomfortable. Thus, new generation can smash narrow gender stereotypes by bringing equality in the division of housework; such changes are no doubt necessary!
The writer is Editor of “SMEs of Bangladesh” Publication Series
The Bangladesh Rating
Agency Ltd. (BDRAL)