How did the hipster burn his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.

Bartender says "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line" Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones.

But people in Abu Dhabi do!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My friends say there's a gay guy in our circle of friends... I really hope it's Todd, he's cute.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other "I need you to help me get to the other side!"The other guy replies "You are on the other side!"

    Compiled from the internet