I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
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I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
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Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says "I think we got this joke wrong".
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My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
Compiled from the internet