Little Johnny tells his friend, "My grandpa died yesterday."
 Friend asks, "Oh, how did that happen?"
Johnny, "He hit his thumb with a hammer."
Friend, "But you can't die of that!"
Johnny, "I know but he wouldn't stop screaming and cursing so we had to shoot him."
* * * * * * * * *
I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45.
 It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

Compiled from the internet