Patient: "Doctor! Doctor! Help me - I cannot feel my legs!"

 Doctor: "Don’t panic, that’s perfectly normal. It’s because I amputated your arms!"

* * * * * * * *

Congratulations on your 60th birthday! At last you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents!

* * * * * * * *

My ex had an accident. I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for her.

 Finally she’ll experience what rejection is really like.

    Compiled from the internet