What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?
“Make me one with everything.”
You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
Because they’re really good at it.
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What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple?
They’re both red except for the green one.
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 How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool.
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My roommate told me my clothes look gay.
I was like, don’t be a dick dude; they just came out of the closet.
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How did the blonde die ice fishing?
She was hit by the zamboni.
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Where does the General keep his armies?
In his sleevies!
    Compiled from the internet