I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?” So I called the number and said that I didn’t. - I like to help where I can.
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I just like to sleep naked. The air-hostess could have been a bit more understanding.
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Not every badly unkempt guy is homeless. It could well be that he lives with 3 females and only 1 bathroom.
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Wow you look great! Did you lose weight?”
“Hey – did you just call me ugly and fat in retrospect?!”
    Compiled from the internet