I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?” So I called the number and said that I didn’t. - I like to help where I can.
* * * * * * * *
Waiter? I’m sorry, but I cannot eat all this. Would you be so kind and pack it for me? To take away?
But sir, this is a buffet.
Pack it up I said!“
* * * * * * * *
A German, an American and a Russian walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them suspiciously and says, “Is this some kind of a joke?”
    Compiled from the internet