Teacher: Class, this morning, we will have only half a day of school.

Class: Yaaaaay!

Teacher: We enjoy the other half this afternoon!

* * * * * * * * *

Raphael runs to his father and starts talking to him urgently, “Dad, dad…”

His father turns to him angrily and says, “I’ve had it with you constantly interrupting me. From now on you’ll speak only when I’ve asked you something!”

Raphael thinks for a second and continues, “OK dad, can you please ask me if you’ve forgotten to put in the handbrake and if your car is now rolling down the road?”

* * * * * * * * *

Mommy, do you know if God has to go to the toilet too?

No child. Of course not. What makes you think this way?

 Well grandpa knocked on the bathroom door this morning and said: “Oh God! Please hurry up!”

* * * * * * * * *

If you’re a fan of pistachio nuts, yay! Whenever you enjoy some, put those that didn’t crack or can’t be opened easily with just your hands aside. When you have enough of these annoying bastards collected, put them in some pretty glass jar or something and give them to that special person. Picture their increasing frustration and enjoy.

* * * * * * * * *

I told my friend that my grandpa is hard of hearing. I told my grandpa that my friend is mentally handicapped. I don’t remember ever having had this much fun before.

Compiled from the internet