Just came home from a training session. Two hours on the treadmill did me really good. If only I could somehow stop the constant beeping and the irritated comments of the cashier.
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Two men are talking and one says to the other, “My wife’s doctor says she has menopause, and, man, has she been moody lately. How long do the symptoms of menopause usually last?” The other man replies, “Let me put it this way: menopause will be listed as the cause on your death certificate.”
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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away
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Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?
My name is Paul.
    Compiled from the internet