Dad: Son, I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No.
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son: Okay then!
Dad goes to Bill Gate.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No.
Dad: My son is the CEO of the world's greatest bank.
Bill Gates: Okay then!
Dad goes to the CEO of the world's greatest bank.
Dad: Make my son the CEO.
CEO: No.
Dad: My son is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
CEO: Okay then!
This is BUSINESS.
* * * * * * * * * *
A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says, "Dude, I'm Jesus Christ!" And the priest says, "No son, you're not." So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says, "Man, I'm Jesus Christ!" Then the priest says, "No son, you're not." Finally, the drunk had enough and said, "Here, I'll prove it." He walks back into the bar with both priests and the bartender looks up and sees the drunk and says, "Jesus Christ, you're back AGAIN?"
* * * * * * * * * *
An Indian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel. Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan." Then a Toyota car overtook the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Car very fast, made in Japan." When they reached the destination the fare was 1500 rupees. The Japanese man thought the ride was would only cost 500 rupees. He asked the driver why the ride was so expensive. The driver said, "Meter very fast, made in India."
Compiled from the internet