Laughing out loud

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine.
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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.” 
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A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams." 
    Compiled from the internet

 

Laughing out loud

A man hasnt been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. Im afraid I have some very bad news, the doctor says. Youre dying, and you dont have much time left. Oh, thats terrible! says the man. How long have I got? Ten, the doctor says sadly. Ten? the man asks. Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?! Nine. * * * * * * * * * * A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see whos best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion. I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached Gods holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him. They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldnt have started with the circumcision. * * * * * * * * * * A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means? Youll know tonight, he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled The Meaning of Dreams. Compiled from the internet