Laughing out loud
My three-year-old daughter stuck out her hand and said, Look at the fly I killed, Mommy. Since she was eating a juicy pickle at the time, I thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and washed them with antibacterial soap.
After sitting her down to finish her pickle, I asked, with a touch of awe, How did you kill that fly all by yourself?
Between bites, she said, I hit it with my pickle.
* * * * * * * *
A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.
I have an interesting case here, he says. A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.
Have you arrested her? asks the sergeant.
No, not yet. The floors still wet.
* * * * * * * *
At the mall, my five-year-old grandson joined the other children in line waiting to sit on the Easter Bunnys lap. When it was his turn, Jake didnt move; he just stared.
Dont you want to sit on the bunnys lap? I asked.
No! he shouted. Theres a man in his mouth!
* * * * * * * *
Ive been working on my PhD in engineering for the past five years, but my kids dont necessarily see that as work.
As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get a job there.
Hoping to make a point, I asked, Do you think theyre looking for an engineer?
Oh, sure, he said. Theyll hire anybody.
Compiled from the internet
