Laughing out loud
A man went to his lawyer and told him, My neighbor owes me $500 and he wont pay up. What should I do? Do you have any proof he owes you the money? asked the lawyer.
Nope, replied the man. OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you, said the lawyer. But its only $500, replied the man. Precisely.
Thats what he will reply and then youll have your proof!
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A man walks out on his front porch one day and sees a gorilla in the tree on his front lawn. He calls animal control and about an hour later a man shows up with a ladder, a pit bull, and a shotgun.
The animal control employee tells the man, Im here to get the gorilla out of your tree. Im going to use this ladder to climb up the tree and shake the branch the gorilla is on to knock him to the ground.
The pit bull is trained to go after anything that falls from the tree and bites their balls which calms the animal down so I can put him in the truck. The man says Okay, I see what the ladder and the pit bull are for but what is the shotgun for? The animal control employee says, Oh, thats for you. In case I fall out of the tree instead of the gorilla, shoot the dog.
Compiled from the internet
