The big fat Indian wedding

Given that there is a great deal of sanctity that a marriage ceremony brings, giving a go-by to rituals is neither desirable nor prudent

If a Private Members Bill to cap wedding expenditure goes through in the Indian Parliament, the big fat Indian wedding may become a thing of the past. Lavish weddings would then be mere stories for books. 

In any case, the big fat Indian wedding is like a fairy tale: more dream come true occasions. There are, as a run up to the actual day, a dozen functions lined up:  more celebratory and less ritualistic. Rituals that form a major part of the ceremony, are kept for the final day. 
Given that there is a great deal of sanctity that a marriage ceremony brings, giving a go-by to rituals is neither desirable nor prudent. The very thought would be nothing short of sacrilege. For those who want to keep rituals out, opt for a court marriage: here the court officer replaces the priest and legal terminology substitutes vows. 
But registered marriages are far and few compared to the traditional ones. The religious input is a must as are celebrations. 
In the Indian context, marriage is for keeps. Therefore, nothing is left to chance. It is a celebration and a prayer: a celebration of the union and a prayer that it lasts. This, ofcourse, is not to suggest that divorces are uncommon but yes they are not an area people jump into. 
Staying single or late marriages are not the done thing in this part of the world. Simply put, marriage in India is a big thing. All sops are pulled out to make it grand. And this is where the money comes in. 
The richer you are the more you do, scaling up the expenditure, often spending beyond your means. In rural areas, families have gone under debt to marry off their daughters. In urban set-ups, parents have often sold off assets for liquid cash to spend and splurge on the big fat Indian wedding. 
Marriages are a great indicator of one’s social and financial status: if you have it, show it off being the underlying sentiment in most cases. And if you don’t then you must manage somehow to put up a show that will make people smile. Do what it takes but do you must. 
It is against this backdrop that the much talked about Bill gains relevance. 
The Marriages (Compulsory Registration and Prevention of Wasteful Expenditure) Bill, seeks to curb wedding expenditure. A private members Bill, it is all set to be introduced in Parliament in the forthcoming session. 
Members of Parliament other than ministers are called private members and bills presented by them are known as private member's bills. 
The Bill seeks to curb the amount of money spent on grandiose and lavishness in marriage ceremonies, including the number of guests and relatives and even the number of dishes being served to the guests. 
Introduced by Congress MP Ranjeet Ranjan, wife of MP Pappu Yadav it aims to curtail the "show of wealth."
The key points of Ranjan’s Bill include limiting expenses to Rs 5 lakhs each for the bride's and groom's families; setting up a welfare fund to which families will have to contribute 10 per cent of the wedding expenses in cases of violations; making food wastage a criminal offence. The welfare fund will be used to marry off girls from poor families. 
The Bill has generated enough controversy, with ifs and buts on the fate of the Bill. 
Ironically, the MP pushing this Bill, herself, married in style. She was ferried in a chartered plane and the guest list went beyond 3,00,000 people. Ranjan says this bill is aimed at correcting her “mistakes of the past” and bring about a change. 
The Bill is also very iffy. Private members Bills   do not have a high strike rate. In 2015, when one such bill was passed, it was the first success in 45 years. Usually, bills are withdrawn after a debate. 
Till date, only 15 private members' bills have been passed by the Indian Parliament. Six of these were in 1956 alone.
Also, bills seeking curbs on wedding expenditure are not new. There have been six similar bills proposed by private members in the Parliament. Of these four lapsed and two are still pending.
Indian weddings are big spend events including elaborate invitation cards. One such was last year when gold-plated invitation cards fitted with LCD screens were printed. Sometimes guests are expected to sign confidentiality agreements to limit the possibility of images from the events getting out.
Much talked about weddings in India include American hotelier Vikram Chatwal’s wedding where 50,000 kilos of flowers and 3000 candles went into the decoration of the wedding venue; Congress Minister Kanwar Singh Tanwar’s son’s wedding where the groom received a Bell 429 helicopter as a gift from his in-laws. Guest list of this wedding included about 15,000 people, each of whom received 11,000 rupees as shagun. 
Steel magnate Lakshmi Mittal’s daughter Vanisha’s wedding was performed at the Palace of Versailles: the only private function ever to have been held there. 
For the poor, weddings can be back breaking in India. Ranjan cites figures to support her bill on grounds that cash doles are common when a daughter is married off. You actually “buy” a groom and in one sense “sell” the daughter. 
In the states of Bihar or Uttar Pradesh, she says, getting your daughter married to a peon means you have to give cash of Rs 30 lakhs to Rs 35 lakhs; if you want an IAS officer as a son in law you have to cough up as much as a crore of rupees. 
The sum total: wedding could be fun for others. However, it puts a lot of pressure on the parents. The rich set the agenda but the middle class and poor suffer. 
Extravagant weddings, are particularly common in the subcontinent as are attempts to curb it. 
In 1966, the Assam Guest Control Order limited guests at small functions to 25 and for large functions like weddings and funerals, to 100. In 2011, the National Advisory Council had studied the subject but did not pursue the matter. In 2004, the J&K Government passed an order restricting serving of food at marriage receptions to 250 vegetarians and 200 non-vegetarians. The order was stayed by the High Court of J&K. 
There is, however, a counter argument. Weddings, it is argued, is a source of livelihood to many: if you spend, others earn. In this sense, it helps the poor. The modest phoolwala, flower guy, can make a killing as also the shamianawala, the tent guy.  
More importantly, in a democracy, the state mandating on how one should spend our legally acquired wealth is likely to hit a roadblock. Hence caution advised. 
There is, following demonetisation, a hue and cry about government’s attempts to control spending. It can ill afford to step in and set limits on how much one can and should spend on marrying off one’s child. Also, restricting celebrations would, while taking away the fun quotient, dilute the essence of the big fat Indian wedding. So even while the proposed bill has generated enough attention, it may ultimately go into oblivion.

The writer is a senior Indian journalist, political commentator and columnist of The Independent. She can be reached at: ([email protected])  

 

The big fat Indian wedding

Given that there is a great deal of sanctity that a marriage ceremony brings, giving a go-by to rituals is neither desirable nor prudent

If a Private Members Bill to cap wedding expenditure goes through in the Indian Parliament, the big fat Indian wedding may become a thing of the past. Lavish weddings would then be mere stories for books. In any case, the big fat Indian wedding is like a fairy tale: more dream come true occasions. There are, as a run up to the actual day, a dozen functions lined up: more celebratory and less ritualistic. Rituals that form a major part of the ceremony, are kept for the final day. Given that there is a great deal of sanctity that a marriage ceremony brings, giving a go-by to rituals is neither desirable nor prudent. The very thought would be nothing short of sacrilege. For those who want to keep rituals out, opt for a court marriage: here the court officer replaces the priest and legal terminology substitutes vows. But registered marriages are far and few compared to the traditional ones. The religious input is a must as are celebrations. In the Indian context, marriage is for keeps. Therefore, nothing is left to chance. It is a celebration and a prayer: a celebration of the union and a prayer that it lasts. This, ofcourse, is not to suggest that divorces are uncommon but yes they are not an area people jump into. Staying single or late marriages are not the done thing in this part of the world. Simply put, marriage in India is a big thing. All sops are pulled out to make it grand. And this is where the money comes in. The richer you are the more you do, scaling up the expenditure, often spending beyond your means. In rural areas, families have gone under debt to marry off their daughters. In urban set-ups, parents have often sold off assets for liquid cash to spend and splurge on the big fat Indian wedding. Marriages are a great indicator of ones social and financial status: if you have it, show it off being the underlying sentiment in most cases. And if you dont then you must manage somehow to put up a show that will make people smile. Do what it takes but do you must. It is against this backdrop that the much talked about Bill gains relevance. The Marriages (Compulsory Registration and Prevention of Wasteful Expenditure) Bill, seeks to curb wedding expenditure. A private members Bill, it is all set to be introduced in Parliament in the forthcoming session. Members of Parliament other than ministers are called private members and bills presented by them are known as private members bills. The Bill seeks to curb the amount of money spent on grandiose and lavishness in marriage ceremonies, including the number of guests and relatives and even the number of dishes being served to the guests. Introduced by Congress MP Ranjeet Ranjan, wife of MP Pappu Yadav it aims to curtail the show of wealth. The key points of Ranjans Bill include limiting expenses to Rs 5 lakhs each for the brides and grooms families; setting up a welfare fund to which families will have to contribute 10 per cent of the wedding expenses in cases of violations; making food wastage a criminal offence. The welfare fund will be used to marry off girls from poor families. The Bill has generated enough controversy, with ifs and buts on the fate of the Bill. Ironically, the MP pushing this Bill, herself, married in style. She was ferried in a chartered plane and the guest list went beyond 3,00,000 people. Ranjan says this bill is aimed at correcting her mistakes of the past and bring about a change. The Bill is also very iffy. Private members Bills do not have a high strike rate. In 2015, when one such bill was passed, it was the first success in 45 years. Usually, bills are withdrawn after a debate. Till date, only 15 private members bills have been passed by the Indian Parliament. Six of these were in 1956 alone. Also, bills seeking curbs on wedding expenditure are not new. There have been six similar bills proposed by private members in the Parliament. Of these four lapsed and two are still pending. Indian weddings are big spend events including elaborate invitation cards. One such was last year when gold-plated invitation cards fitted with LCD screens were printed. Sometimes guests are expected to sign confidentiality agreements to limit the possibility of images from the events getting out. Much talked about weddings in India include American hotelier Vikram Chatwals wedding where 50,000 kilos of flowers and 3000 candles went into the decoration of the wedding venue; Congress Minister Kanwar Singh Tanwars sons wedding where the groom received a Bell 429 helicopter as a gift from his in-laws. Guest list of this wedding included about 15,000 people, each of whom received 11,000 rupees as shagun. Steel magnate Lakshmi Mittals daughter Vanishas wedding was performed at the Palace of Versailles: the only private function ever to have been held there. For the poor, weddings can be back breaking in India. Ranjan cites figures to support her bill on grounds that cash doles are common when a daughter is married off. You actually buy a groom and in one sense sell the daughter. In the states of Bihar or Uttar Pradesh, she says, getting your daughter married to a peon means you have to give cash of Rs 30 lakhs to Rs 35 lakhs; if you want an IAS officer as a son in law you have to cough up as much as a crore of rupees. The sum total: wedding could be fun for others. However, it puts a lot of pressure on the parents. The rich set the agenda but the middle class and poor suffer. Extravagant weddings, are particularly common in the subcontinent as are attempts to curb it. In 1966, the Assam Guest Control Order limited guests at small functions to 25 and for large functions like weddings and funerals, to 100. In 2011, the National Advisory Council had studied the subject but did not pursue the matter. In 2004, the JK Government passed an order restricting serving of food at marriage receptions to 250 vegetarians and 200 non-vegetarians. The order was stayed by the High Court of JK. There is, however, a counter argument. Weddings, it is argued, is a source of livelihood to many: if you spend, others earn. In this sense, it helps the poor. The modest phoolwala, flower guy, can make a killing as also the shamianawala, the tent guy. More importantly, in a democracy, the state mandating on how one should spend our legally acquired wealth is likely to hit a roadblock. Hence caution advised. There is, following demonetisation, a hue and cry about governments attempts to control spending. It can ill afford to step in and set limits on how much one can and should spend on marrying off ones child. Also, restricting celebrations would, while taking away the fun quotient, dilute the essence of the big fat Indian wedding. So even while the proposed bill has generated enough attention, it may ultimately go into oblivion. The writer is a senior Indian journalist, political commentator and columnist of The Independent. She can be reached at: ([email protected])