It is never her fault: Stop the culture of victim blaming

In traditional households in this region including Bangladesh there is a major inclination towards blaming the woman following a sexual abuse incident or rape

Picture this: A woman’s beautiful, unwilling body is violated brutally by a man. A woman’s sense of safety and security is shattered within moments as she struggles to get a complete grasp on herself against the aggressive, impulsive intent of a man’s sexual drive.  A woman’s control is stripped from her as she is terrorized by a man who neglects the concept of consent as if it does not exist and is unnecessary for himself. A woman’s cry for help is stifled and silenced by an ashy, rough hand blocking her any attempt to escape or retrieve assistance. A woman’s clothing is roughly removed from her body as she pleads with everything she has ever had faith in to end the paralyzing fear that has overtaken her and give her strength to get away and end the seemingly endless rape she is experiencing. 

Now, imagine that this horrific dynamic and interaction between the woman and man is construed such that it is actually the woman's fault. Imagine that her pain and agony, the bruises on not only her body, but on her emotional health is disregarded and instead it is she that is at fault for what has happened to her. Imagine that in this scenario where the man is clearly aggressively advancing and blatantly abusing each and every aspect of the woman, it is actually the woman who has fingers pointed at her. 
The sickening yet harsh reality is that this interaction between man and woman is not foreign at all. As a matter of fact, it permeates the overall global society and affects an immeasurable amount of people. As a matter of fact, the very nature of the interaction is not limited to a man on woman rape, but extends to every gender as a victim and a perpetrator. But although the commonality of rape ends in a man perpetrator and woman victim, it is much too often that the woman is subject to dirty fingers pointed in her direction, at each and every abused body part that she could not protect no matter how hard she tried. 
We live in this global society where we would look at the situation as described above as deeply saddening and terrifying. We all sympathize with the woman in that situation because it is clear that it is not her fault, because we can see by use of the very particular description that she in fact is a victim of a traumatic rape. But, as much as we love sympathize and see the level of horror in this one incident, our society as a whole has this overwhelming tendency to be inconsistent in what we hope to believe, and what we actually do. 
Nobody wants to admit to being someone who takes the side of the guilty, filthy man who has raped an innocent, unexpecting woman, but it is much too frequent that this occurs, especially in the subtlest of ways. 
Let us for a moment look at this statement that mimics a simple sentence used in many publications, media sources, and simple speech when describing an occurrence of rape: 
She was raped on Monday afternoon in the park. 
Now, from a grammatical perspective, it is clear that this sentence is constructed in the passive voice, making it such that the female in the sentence “She” is the subject, and the object of the verb “rape” is entirely absent from the statement. 
This is an example of one subtle way in which there is a tendency to attribute rape to focus on the woman rather than the guiltiness and horrific ability of the perpetrator, or the man. 
The problem with this is very straightforwardly the fact that “she” becomes the central point of a rape incident which opens up a door for negative commentary, perspective, and views about the woman because she is portrayed as the only figure present at all. 
As for the negativity that is then attached to the woman, particularly in traditional mentalities, questions are brought to the table concerning a rape incident. These questions surround the idea of “why”, searching for a justification or a 
plausible reason as to why a man would rape a woman, also known as motive. 
The sad truth is that people in present-day society still fail to acknowledge that motive in a rape incident is simply nonexistent. A man rapes because he wants to rape, because it is a flaw within him, not because of any instigation by an unconsenting woman. 
In traditional South-Asian households there is a major inclination towards the shaming of a woman following a sexual abuse incident or rape. The tendency for this comes from an overemphasis of purity as one of the central if not the most central factor of morality. South-Asian culture along with religious tenets overemphasize purity, particularly that of a woman, such that an incidence of sexual abuse or rape obstructs that level of purity that all woman, according to the culture, should preserve. However, one major and tragic flaw and limitation of this ideology is the fact that it completely acknowledges a woman’s consent and ability to control what is occurring to her purity, so to speak. 
It is acceptable for a culture to embrace purity, innocence, and modesty as a defining aspect humanity if it chooses to, but rape and sexual abuse should not fall into this category at all. A mutual sexual interaction between a man and a woman is not synonymous to sexual abuse or rape, and thus this mentality and mindset of victim-blaming is outwardly wrong and highly problematic. 
In order for culture, along with the global society that has a tendency to victim-blame, to change its views it needs to begin understanding that in the case of a rape, there is never an acceptable reason for the perpetrator to commit his repulsive misdeed, and therefore there should not be any line of questioning, particularly that surrounding the woman, about why the rape or sexual abuse occurred in the first place. The perpetrator needs to be brought into the picture more and the central focus of the rape, as the subject of the traumatizing crime. 

The writer is a freelancer and can be contacted at [email protected]

It is never her fault: Stop the culture of victim blaming

In traditional households in this region including Bangladesh there is a major inclination towards blaming the woman following a sexual abuse incident or rape

Picture this: A womans beautiful, unwilling body is violated brutally by a man. A womans sense of safety and security is shattered within moments as she struggles to get a complete grasp on herself against the aggressive, impulsive intent of a mans sexual drive. A womans control is stripped from her as she is terrorized by a man who neglects the concept of consent as if it does not exist and is unnecessary for himself. A womans cry for help is stifled and silenced by an ashy, rough hand blocking her any attempt to escape or retrieve assistance. A womans clothing is roughly removed from her body as she pleads with everything she has ever had faith in to end the paralyzing fear that has overtaken her and give her strength to get away and end the seemingly endless rape she is experiencing. Now, imagine that this horrific dynamic and interaction between the woman and man is construed such that it is actually the womans fault. Imagine that her pain and agony, the bruises on not only her body, but on her emotional health is disregarded and instead it is she that is at fault for what has happened to her. Imagine that in this scenario where the man is clearly aggressively advancing and blatantly abusing each and every aspect of the woman, it is actually the woman who has fingers pointed at her. The sickening yet harsh reality is that this interaction between man and woman is not foreign at all. As a matter of fact, it permeates the overall global society and affects an immeasurable amount of people. As a matter of fact, the very nature of the interaction is not limited to a man on woman rape, but extends to every gender as a victim and a perpetrator. But although the commonality of rape ends in a man perpetrator and woman victim, it is much too often that the woman is subject to dirty fingers pointed in her direction, at each and every abused body part that she could not protect no matter how hard she tried. We live in this global society where we would look at the situation as described above as deeply saddening and terrifying. We all sympathize with the woman in that situation because it is clear that it is not her fault, because we can see by use of the very particular description that she in fact is a victim of a traumatic rape. But, as much as we love sympathize and see the level of horror in this one incident, our society as a whole has this overwhelming tendency to be inconsistent in what we hope to believe, and what we actually do. Nobody wants to admit to being someone who takes the side of the guilty, filthy man who has raped an innocent, unexpecting woman, but it is much too frequent that this occurs, especially in the subtlest of ways. Let us for a moment look at this statement that mimics a simple sentence used in many publications, media sources, and simple speech when describing an occurrence of rape: She was raped on Monday afternoon in the park. Now, from a grammatical perspective, it is clear that this sentence is constructed in the passive voice, making it such that the female in the sentence She is the subject, and the object of the verb rape is entirely absent from the statement. This is an example of one subtle way in which there is a tendency to attribute rape to focus on the woman rather than the guiltiness and horrific ability of the perpetrator, or the man. The problem with this is very straightforwardly the fact that she becomes the central point of a rape incident which opens up a door for negative commentary, perspective, and views about the woman because she is portrayed as the only figure present at all. As for the negativity that is then attached to the woman, particularly in traditional mentalities, questions are brought to the table concerning a rape incident. These questions surround the idea of why, searching for a justification or a plausible reason as to why a man would rape a woman, also known as motive. The sad truth is that people in present-day society still fail to acknowledge that motive in a rape incident is simply nonexistent. A man rapes because he wants to rape, because it is a flaw within him, not because of any instigation by an unconsenting woman. In traditional South-Asian households there is a major inclination towards the shaming of a woman following a sexual abuse incident or rape. The tendency for this comes from an overemphasis of purity as one of the central if not the most central factor of morality. South-Asian culture along with religious tenets overemphasize purity, particularly that of a woman, such that an incidence of sexual abuse or rape obstructs that level of purity that all woman, according to the culture, should preserve. However, one major and tragic flaw and limitation of this ideology is the fact that it completely acknowledges a womans consent and ability to control what is occurring to her purity, so to speak. It is acceptable for a culture to embrace purity, innocence, and modesty as a defining aspect humanity if it chooses to, but rape and sexual abuse should not fall into this category at all. A mutual sexual interaction between a man and a woman is not synonymous to sexual abuse or rape, and thus this mentality and mindset of victim-blaming is outwardly wrong and highly problematic. In order for culture, along with the global society that has a tendency to victim-blame, to change its views it needs to begin understanding that in the case of a rape, there is never an acceptable reason for the perpetrator to commit his repulsive misdeed, and therefore there should not be any line of questioning, particularly that surrounding the woman, about why the rape or sexual abuse occurred in the first place. The perpetrator needs to be brought into the picture more and the central focus of the rape, as the subject of the traumatizing crime. The writer is a freelancer and can be contacted at [email protected]