To Tolerate or Not
No means No
By Limana Solaiman Mridha
We dream of a society where gender equality prevails and women are respected and treated as equals in all walks of life. But alas! The reality is much more brutal where a woman cannot step out of the house without facing some sort of abuse. Now, you may wonder whether catcalls, whistles or lingering suggestive looks and songs with sexual connotations could be considered as harassment or not. Let me put any doubts to rest _ according to the Metropolitan Police Ordinance, definition of eve teasing _ euphemism for sexual harassment in public _ includes the indecent exposure by a man within the sight of a woman; wilful pressure or obstruction on any woman; and insulting or annoying a woman by using indecent language or making lewd sounds, gestures, or remarks in any public place. If a person is found guilty of any of those offences, he faces up to a year in jail or a fine, or both, depending on the severity of the situation.
Talking to this reporter, two young women described the kinds of harassment they face in their everyday life. Both interviewees asked not to be named.
A-32-year old mother takes her daughter to school everyday. As she walk from her home to the main road to get a rickshaw, she is made uncomfortable by lewd romantic songs from passing rickshaws. My daughter is growing up and to avoid this, I am hoping my husband will be able to get a loan and buy a car so that she doesnt have to face this as well. This is so common that many women even fail to notice this is happening and go about their day. But ask anyone, they will tell you how uncomfortable this makes them feel. The miserable part of it all is that even though I read in newspapers that helplines exist where you can complain, what about incidents where the culprits just pass you by?
Another young woman said: I was crossing the road at Panthapath and going to Bashundhara City when all of a sudden, I felt something nudging me, I turned around to see a man on a bicycle pushing the front wheel against by backside and making indecent noises. I lost my temper and pushed the bike back and started shouting, there was no one there so the aggressor again pushed the bike towards my body, and I got scared and thought he might do something worse, so I just crossed the road. By the time I reached the shopping mall, I was shaking all over and lost the will to watch the movie with my friends. I felt violated.
Now the question arises, how do we stop this kind of sporadic incidents? Sadly, nothing much can be done in such cases, unless the perpetrators are caught in the act. But hopefully, with awareness campaigns and teaching children about consent may bring about some change. But we have a long way to go as talking about sexual harassment is taboo in our society.
Thousands of incidents of rape, groping and other forms of harassment go unreported due to the stigma attached _ victims fear they would be looked down on or even blamed. Like when women were undressed in public during Pohela Baishakh celebrations at Dhaka University last year, many Facebook posts commented that the victims were asking for it.
Now, the scenario is different when it comes to a persistent stalker or aggressor who continuously harasses someone. There is a 24-hour national toll free helpline number, 10921, to report harassment or assault and receive assistance. The hotline was launched in June 2012 as part of the Multi-Sectoral Programme on Violence against Women of the Ministry of Women and Children Affairs. The number can be accessed both from mobile phone numbers and landlines.
In a telephone conversation with one counsellor, this reporter got to know the kind of immediate support a victim of eve teasing or stalking can get. Firstly, all calls are treated with utmost confidentiality to ensure that the victim feels safe in sharing her predicament. In case of stalking in educational institutions, the helpline counsellors first ask for the location of the incident, name of the educational institution and then they get in touch with the local police station and inform them of the incident, whereupon, the perpetrator is caught in the act by police in plainclothes.
In case of passing incidents, such as a passerby making sexually suggestive comment or touching himself while looking at the victim, if the woman or girl can get bystanders to catch the culprit, and then make the call to the helpline with the exact location, a mobile court will be in action with the help of the local authorities, and the offender will be punished accordingly.
According to the counsellor, when apposite punishment is given to delinquents in a locality, it has been reported that the number of incidents of harassment goes down in that area.
Sexual harassment in educational institutions by teachers or staff members is nothing new. Bangladesh National Women Lawyers Association shared a case where a student faced sexually abusive behaviour.
Nilima, a second year university student, lived in a dormitory on the campus. One of the staff of her department was known for touching female students, but the matter was not addressed or given much importance by the students. The man often harassed her by taking her hand by force and saying sexually indicative words to her. Although she felt demeaned and sullied, she avoided lodging a complaint against him and tried her best to avoid him. Her silence gave her assailant more power and the intensity of the harassment increased. Later, when they went on a study tour, the man recorded her and some other girls showering. He then tried to sexually abuse her by blackmailing her with the video. The incident was reported to BNWLA and was dealt with successfully.
Another case story shared by BNWLA shows the growing number of cyber sexual harassment.
For 18-year-old Rabeya living in a small town in Sylhet, the introduction of the internet was a blessing in many ways. With strict parents who did not allow her to go out of the house alone, she was glad to have access to another world where she developed a relationship with a teacher and shared intimate details of her life. After a few months of chatting, he demanded that she send him sexually explicit pictures of herself. When she refused, he began to send her inappropriate images and videos and made derogatory comments about her appearance and character. As Rabeya tried to block and delete him from her friends list, he threatened to call her parents and tell them everything. This case was also successfully handled by BNWLA and Rabeya resumed her studies and life peacefully once again.
Another common form of harassment faced by girls and women is stalking by men who profess their love. When girls or women say no to their advances, they are often physically assaulted or even killed.
Recent cases where girls were stabbed, hacked or shot dead for rejecting their stalkers, or a father maimed for protesting his daughters harassment, clearly show that the nature of the offence is becoming more violent.
Although many social organisations and government departments are working relentlessly to address the issue, we need stricter laws, zero tolerance policies and change in mindsets to eradicate all kinds of sexual harassment from our society.
Photos: Internet
