Monsoon precautions..!

The country breathes a sigh of relief with brilliant emergency measures by the government especially in the city of Mumbai.   
First the government has seen that all those staying in flood prone areas learn swimming! Workers were sent from house to house and even shy housewives who had never seen the insides of a bikini were forcibly taken to swimming pools and taught how to swim.
"We even taught a ninety year old man how to dive, but poor fellow he won't have to use those skills as he passed away the next day!" said a municipal worker.      
"The moral police came to investigate how much the bikinis covered," said another government with a grin, "but their mothers and their sisters were enjoying themselves so much showing of their once hidden legs, behinds and bosoms that they were immediately shoed away by them!"
"Now they are waiting for the floods so that they can show those hidden assets off once again!" said the first worker, "our government has certainly released them from the bondage of prudery!"
Next the government announced that prayers should be said in all religious places of worship asking for no flooding this year. Today the feeling in government circles is that maybe this was too much of a good thing as people will learn to blame god and not the government!.                    
"We did not expect the whole of Mumbai to pray," said an official.
New cars have also been bought for government staff:
"How will those cars help?" asked a businessman.
"We will be able to rush out of the city during floods and monitor the situation from a dry place!"
Finally to see that the government doesn't come to a standstill during flooding, it has been mooted to make one of the hill stations the monsoon capital of the state and all elected members, ministers and their staff will function from there every year during monsoons. "After we do that, we will be able to oversee the situation from a mountain top and have a first hand idea how much aid to ask from the prime minister!" said the chief minister.    
Like I said, the country and Mumbai is geared for floods this year..!
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Monsoon precautions..!

The country breathes a sigh of relief with brilliant emergency measures by the government especially in the city of Mumbai. First the government has seen that all those staying in flood prone areas learn swimming! Workers were sent from house to house and even shy housewives who had never seen the insides of a bikini were forcibly taken to swimming pools and taught how to swim. We even taught a ninety year old man how to dive, but poor fellow he wont have to use those skills as he passed away the next day! said a municipal worker. The moral police came to investigate how much the bikinis covered, said another government with a grin, but their mothers and their sisters were enjoying themselves so much showing of their once hidden legs, behinds and bosoms that they were immediately shoed away by them! Now they are waiting for the floods so that they can show those hidden assets off once again! said the first worker, our government has certainly released them from the bondage of prudery! Next the government announced that prayers should be said in all religious places of worship asking for no flooding this year. Today the feeling in government circles is that maybe this was too much of a good thing as people will learn to blame god and not the government!. We did not expect the whole of Mumbai to pray, said an official. New cars have also been bought for government staff: How will those cars help? asked a businessman. We will be able to rush out of the city during floods and monitor the situation from a dry place! Finally to see that the government doesnt come to a standstill during flooding, it has been mooted to make one of the hill stations the monsoon capital of the state and all elected members, ministers and their staff will function from there every year during monsoons. After we do that, we will be able to oversee the situation from a mountain top and have a first hand idea how much aid to ask from the prime minister! said the chief minister. Like I said, the country and Mumbai is geared for floods this year..! [email protected]