Old is gold: how Kolkata�s greying population is feeding a new kind of business � part 02

Only Bengalis, lonely Bengalis? According to Shirsha Guha, the problem began in the 1980s and ‘90s, with the breakdown of the education system and dismal job scene.
“Parents encouraged their children to move out, pursue their dreams of academic and professional excellence,” explained Guha. “This coupled with the fact that the fiercely individualistic Bengalis had moved further and further away from the joint family system, has resulted in their complete isolation. Bengalis have been so busy following their intellectual and creative pursuits that they have cut themselves off from the larger family support system – something that still works for Marwari and Gujarati families.”
Guha observes that almost all her 100-strong members are Bengalis. “Thanks to their shared business and commercial interests, Marwari families tend to stick together. This is beneficial for the elderly, who are always being watched over. The situation is very different for geriatric Bengalis, who are now mostly on their own.”
Her views are shared by Dr Ajay Mistry, who is setting up a 100-room old age home in Haspukur, in the northern suburbs of the city, next to a hospital. “There has been an increase in the number of senior citizens who have been forced to fend for themselves,” he said. “With the chipping away of the traditional family structure, there is no one in the extended family either to take care of their medical and other needs. The idea of building an old age home in the periphery of a hospital was born from this experience.”
There is also the city’s changing skyline to blame. The old houses that shared walls, terraces and lives, have given way to gated communities. “For those living abroad, it seems convenient to sell off the old property which they feel is their albatross, and shift their parents to the new apartments that offer better security and parks and other facilities,” observed Guha. “But this also leads to their isolation. Most of the flats in these high-rises are vacant. The rest have strangers.”
A marketing professional attached to one of the service providers claims he has received calls from Indians living in Australia and the US, who have sought his help to sell off their ancestral property, move their parents to a well-appointed apartment or old age home. He has not recommended any facility so far, citing the incident of how his employer’s relative was financially exploited at a well-known old age facility run by a religious trust.
A professional friend
Despite the challenges and the loneliness, most senior citizens prefer to cling on to their soil than brave hassle-prone travel.
So when they are desperate enough to dial the helpline numbers or ask for help, what are they looking for? According to Deep Probeen Porisheba, it is “companionship”, the most popular service in their repertoire. “Most senior citizens are lonely and unhappy. They just need someone to talk to,” said Guha.
Take the instance of the Mondals in Dhakuria. Their only child lives in Australia. They lead a reasonably active life and have enough to not worry about emergency hospitalisation. Problem arose when both of them were afflicted with severe arthritis and mobility was restricted. The trips to Australia and other vacations came to a stop. Being bedridden exacerbated their depression. Their son, Sarbajeet, enlisted the help of Deep Probeen Porisheba and a physiotherapist was appointed to visit them at home twice a week. After a year, the Mondals say the sahayak, as the professionals are called, is more of a family member whose presence helps enliven the quiet home.
“He has helped me manage my aches and pains and we went on a vacation to Himachal recently,” said Indrajit Mondal (72). “But more than anything else, we enjoy his company and look forward to his visits,” said his wife Meera (63). What makes the arrangement even sweeter is the fact that the son manages everything from Australia – subscription fees, dealing with reports and discussing further treatments or adding services.
Not everyone is comfortable with the idea of opening their doors to rank strangers when they are at their most vulnerable. The Sens of Ballygunje Circular Road, for instance, preferred to continue with the nurses and sebikas who had been recommended by relatives or had taken care of them while they had been hospitalised. The sons – Rajesh and Anamit Sen – were both working in different cities, when their mother suffered a stroke, paralysing her. This was followed by their father’s illness. Since 2010, the family has been relying on a support system of two daytime nurses, two sebikas for the night for both parents, and a trusted family chauffeur who does odd jobs and runs errands.
“For most people of a certain generation, there is a huge trust issue when it comes to letting anyone into the house.
They prefer to go by recommendations of other family members and friends than look up the internet,” said Anamit Sen, who recently moved back to Kolkata and joined his brother who had moved back earlier to take care of their parents.
“We had the opportunity of coming back for our parents,” said Rajesh Sen. “But almost all my friends living abroad have to deal with this phase. They visit annually, or twice a year depending on their work and the distance. Some of them have signed up for these services – nurses, doctors on call, someone to monitor BP, give insulin shots, or just monitor reports and manage any crisis that may arise. This may not be an ideal arrangement, but possibly the best under the circumstances.”
For most professionals living in the US or UK, moving back to Kolkata is not an option. “When you have worked hard for a citizenship, you don’t want to give everything up. The annual visits are not enough and you are constantly worrying about the well-being of your parents,” said Guha, who believes the situation in Kolkata is different from that in Kerala where most of the professionals leave on temporary visas to the Middle East countries.
“Our son is not the kind to live away from his parents,” said the Mondals. “But he has two children and he wants to raise them in a first world country.”
Not all the subscribers to these services live alone in the city. According to data provided by the service providers, a significant chunk of the requests come in from the sons and daughters who live in the same city but are unable to give enough time and attention to their elderly parents.
The price of convenience
Whether it is a sebika who comes highly recommended for the Sens or a sahayak who helps Anima Roy Choudhuri of Golf Green to Skype with her daughter in the US and go for afternoon walks or deal with legal work, none of these services come cheap. “Kolkata is an extremely price-sensitive market,” said Guha, who has had problems creating awareness about the exact nature of the services her company offers. One can expect to shell out anything upwards of Rs 7,000-10,000 for any one of the services offered by the companies and hospitals.
Tribeca says its pricing is affordable, customised and caters to people of all socio-economic backgrounds. But it is not easy convincing the parents to sign up for the services. Many of them are not comfortable with the idea of spending their children’s money, and some are so unhappy with the arrangement that they do not want their help.
“It is always a delicate situation,” said Guha, “and we insist all stakeholders in the family be present before working out a solution for the family. After all, no one is happy with their situation.”
Concurs Ganesh, elaborating on the sensitive nature of the work involved.
“It is not like selling a book or providing another credit card facility. There is a great deal of emotion involved; people come to us when they are in pain or distress and look to us to solve their problem and give them solace. This is a huge responsibility.”
 Source: scroll.in
Courtesy: Ashraf Uddin Ahmed

 

Old is gold: how Kolkata�s greying population is feeding a new kind of business � part 02

Only Bengalis, lonely Bengalis? According to Shirsha Guha, the problem began in the 1980s and 90s, with the breakdown of the education system and dismal job scene. Parents encouraged their children to move out, pursue their dreams of academic and professional excellence, explained Guha. This coupled with the fact that the fiercely individualistic Bengalis had moved further and further away from the joint family system, has resulted in their complete isolation. Bengalis have been so busy following their intellectual and creative pursuits that they have cut themselves off from the larger family support system something that still works for Marwari and Gujarati families. Guha observes that almost all her 100-strong members are Bengalis. Thanks to their shared business and commercial interests, Marwari families tend to stick together. This is beneficial for the elderly, who are always being watched over. The situation is very different for geriatric Bengalis, who are now mostly on their own. Her views are shared by Dr Ajay Mistry, who is setting up a 100-room old age home in Haspukur, in the northern suburbs of the city, next to a hospital. There has been an increase in the number of senior citizens who have been forced to fend for themselves, he said. With the chipping away of the traditional family structure, there is no one in the extended family either to take care of their medical and other needs. The idea of building an old age home in the periphery of a hospital was born from this experience. There is also the citys changing skyline to blame. The old houses that shared walls, terraces and lives, have given way to gated communities. For those living abroad, it seems convenient to sell off the old property which they feel is their albatross, and shift their parents to the new apartments that offer better security and parks and other facilities, observed Guha. But this also leads to their isolation. Most of the flats in these high-rises are vacant. The rest have strangers. A marketing professional attached to one of the service providers claims he has received calls from Indians living in Australia and the US, who have sought his help to sell off their ancestral property, move their parents to a well-appointed apartment or old age home. He has not recommended any facility so far, citing the incident of how his employers relative was financially exploited at a well-known old age facility run by a religious trust. A professional friend Despite the challenges and the loneliness, most senior citizens prefer to cling on to their soil than brave hassle-prone travel. So when they are desperate enough to dial the helpline numbers or ask for help, what are they looking for? According to Deep Probeen Porisheba, it is companionship, the most popular service in their repertoire. Most senior citizens are lonely and unhappy. They just need someone to talk to, said Guha. Take the instance of the Mondals in Dhakuria. Their only child lives in Australia. They lead a reasonably active life and have enough to not worry about emergency hospitalisation. Problem arose when both of them were afflicted with severe arthritis and mobility was restricted. The trips to Australia and other vacations came to a stop. Being bedridden exacerbated their depression. Their son, Sarbajeet, enlisted the help of Deep Probeen Porisheba and a physiotherapist was appointed to visit them at home twice a week. After a year, the Mondals say the sahayak, as the professionals are called, is more of a family member whose presence helps enliven the quiet home. He has helped me manage my aches and pains and we went on a vacation to Himachal recently, said Indrajit Mondal (72). But more than anything else, we enjoy his company and look forward to his visits, said his wife Meera (63). What makes the arrangement even sweeter is the fact that the son manages everything from Australia subscription fees, dealing with reports and discussing further treatments or adding services. Not everyone is comfortable with the idea of opening their doors to rank strangers when they are at their most vulnerable. The Sens of Ballygunje Circular Road, for instance, preferred to continue with the nurses and sebikas who had been recommended by relatives or had taken care of them while they had been hospitalised. The sons Rajesh and Anamit Sen were both working in different cities, when their mother suffered a stroke, paralysing her. This was followed by their fathers illness. Since 2010, the family has been relying on a support system of two daytime nurses, two sebikas for the night for both parents, and a trusted family chauffeur who does odd jobs and runs errands. For most people of a certain generation, there is a huge trust issue when it comes to letting anyone into the house. They prefer to go by recommendations of other family members and friends than look up the internet, said Anamit Sen, who recently moved back to Kolkata and joined his brother who had moved back earlier to take care of their parents. We had the opportunity of coming back for our parents, said Rajesh Sen. But almost all my friends living abroad have to deal with this phase. They visit annually, or twice a year depending on their work and the distance. Some of them have signed up for these services nurses, doctors on call, someone to monitor BP, give insulin shots, or just monitor reports and manage any crisis that may arise. This may not be an ideal arrangement, but possibly the best under the circumstances. For most professionals living in the US or UK, moving back to Kolkata is not an option. When you have worked hard for a citizenship, you dont want to give everything up. The annual visits are not enough and you are constantly worrying about the well-being of your parents, said Guha, who believes the situation in Kolkata is different from that in Kerala where most of the professionals leave on temporary visas to the Middle East countries. Our son is not the kind to live away from his parents, said the Mondals. But he has two children and he wants to raise them in a first world country. Not all the subscribers to these services live alone in the city. According to data provided by the service providers, a significant chunk of the requests come in from the sons and daughters who live in the same city but are unable to give enough time and attention to their elderly parents. The price of convenience Whether it is a sebika who comes highly recommended for the Sens or a sahayak who helps Anima Roy Choudhuri of Golf Green to Skype with her daughter in the US and go for afternoon walks or deal with legal work, none of these services come cheap. Kolkata is an extremely price-sensitive market, said Guha, who has had problems creating awareness about the exact nature of the services her company offers. One can expect to shell out anything upwards of Rs 7,000-10,000 for any one of the services offered by the companies and hospitals. Tribeca says its pricing is affordable, customised and caters to people of all socio-economic backgrounds. But it is not easy convincing the parents to sign up for the services. Many of them are not comfortable with the idea of spending their childrens money, and some are so unhappy with the arrangement that they do not want their help. It is always a delicate situation, said Guha, and we insist all stakeholders in the family be present before working out a solution for the family. After all, no one is happy with their situation. Concurs Ganesh, elaborating on the sensitive nature of the work involved. It is not like selling a book or providing another credit card facility. There is a great deal of emotion involved; people come to us when they are in pain or distress and look to us to solve their problem and give them solace. This is a huge responsibility. Source: scroll.in Courtesy: Ashraf Uddin Ahmed