Nibbling and gnawing..!

"Nibbling and gnawing, very annoying.." Have been asked to raise the toast for a friends wedding and thought I'd lighten the occasion with something I'd borrow from the net: What I found were dozens of jokes about nagging wives, here's one:
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. All of a sudden, his old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen, then shake his head in disagreement.
So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men. The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."
"And what about the men?" the minister asked.
"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale..!"
And most of the other jokes also ended with something violent happening to the women, which made me realize nagging isn't too good a thing!
Looked up the word and found it had its roots in naga meaning to nibble, or nage to gnaw.
Here's how men react to nibbling and gnawing, all in good humour:
When a woman says: "This place is a mess! C'mon, You and I need to clean up, Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!"
The man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!
So what do you do to get that lazy fellow on his feet?
Stop nibbling, stop gnawing, start nudging!
Nudge each other by showing appreciation for all the little positive things that take place in and around home, nudge by being light hearted even if you're fuming inside and nudge by being polite and respectful to each other.  
Ah well, I'm not sure this is going to be part of my toast, but I know it could save a few marriages, without anyone having to use the mule..!

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Nibbling and gnawing..!

Nibbling and gnawing, very annoying.. Have been asked to raise the toast for a friends wedding and thought Id lighten the occasion with something Id borrow from the net: What I found were dozens of jokes about nagging wives, heres one: An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. All of a sudden, his old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen, then shake his head in disagreement. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men. The old farmer said: Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so Id nod my head in agreement. And what about the men? the minister asked. They wanted to know if the mule was for sale..! And most of the other jokes also ended with something violent happening to the women, which made me realize nagging isnt too good a thing! Looked up the word and found it had its roots in naga meaning to nibble, or nage to gnaw. Heres how men react to nibbling and gnawing, all in good humour: When a woman says: This place is a mess! Cmon, You and I need to clean up, Your stuff is lying on the floor and youll have no clothes to wear, if we dont do laundry right now! The man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah, CMON blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW! So what do you do to get that lazy fellow on his feet? Stop nibbling, stop gnawing, start nudging! Nudge each other by showing appreciation for all the little positive things that take place in and around home, nudge by being light hearted even if youre fuming inside and nudge by being polite and respectful to each other. Ah well, Im not sure this is going to be part of my toast, but I know it could save a few marriages, without anyone having to use the mule..! [email protected]