Mobile phone laws..!

I believe what is needed now, very desperately are laws to govern mobile phone users.  Strict laws need to be implemented immediately. 
Rule One: The size of the mobile should be such that other people who the user is also engaging in conversation know when he has switched onto to talking into his mobile and when he is talking to them. Tiny instruments, which are invisible to the people around should be banned or confiscated and burnt or smashed to the ground or exploded. 
Rule Two: Restaurants should ask their customers to deposit their handsets at the entrance like they do with umbrellas, so that patrons can enjoy their food and also the company of each other. If the mobile rings while the guest is having his meal, a waiter will answer the phone and even tell the person at the other end that he will have to pay a fine if he calls again in the next half hour. 
Rule Three: All cell phones should be fixed with an automatic device which allows the user only one call per hour. Any more calls will have his or her license being temporarily suspended and if the user persists, his right to cell communication will be taken away. 
Rule Four: Statutory warning to be introduced in all mobile ads, saying that mobile usage is addictive. Mobile companies also to donate money for rehab homes for addicts who want to kick the habit.
Rule Five: 'Mobile Shelters' to be erected where people will be able to use their mobile phones, all other areas will be made ' silence zones' and mobile free. 
Rule Six:  Vibrator modes to have a stronger electric charge so that people will get electrocuted with every call. 

Rule Seven: Betrothed couples to reveal to each other their mobile addictions if any before their wedding plans are finalised. 

Rule Eight: Taxation, such as imposed on liquor and cigarettes to be introduced on every word spoken by cell user. This tax will be known as Talk Tax and the money collected from this tax will be used to finance old age homes for writers and columnists, who wield more of the pen and less their tongue. 
Rule Nine: Street plays, dramas and newspaper ads to be used to educate people on the evils of cell talk. Former Prime Minister Blair to give talks on, "If I Hadn't Talked Too Much..!"
Rule Ten: That it be mandatory for cell users to pass a government test on mobile usage before being given a license to use a handset, and that cell schools be started to train aspiring cell users on correct usage. 
Now if you've gone through this column without your phone ringing even once without you looking at it wondering why it didn't ring, sign the petition and send it pronto to the United Nations..! 

    [email protected]

Mobile phone laws..!

I believe what is needed now, very desperately are laws to govern mobile phone users. Strict laws need to be implemented immediately. Rule One: The size of the mobile should be such that other people who the user is also engaging in conversation know when he has switched onto to talking into his mobile and when he is talking to them. Tiny instruments, which are invisible to the people around should be banned or confiscated and burnt or smashed to the ground or exploded. Rule Two: Restaurants should ask their customers to deposit their handsets at the entrance like they do with umbrellas, so that patrons can enjoy their food and also the company of each other. If the mobile rings while the guest is having his meal, a waiter will answer the phone and even tell the person at the other end that he will have to pay a fine if he calls again in the next half hour. Rule Three: All cell phones should be fixed with an automatic device which allows the user only one call per hour. Any more calls will have his or her license being temporarily suspended and if the user persists, his right to cell communication will be taken away. Rule Four: Statutory warning to be introduced in all mobile ads, saying that mobile usage is addictive. Mobile companies also to donate money for rehab homes for addicts who want to kick the habit. Rule Five: Mobile Shelters to be erected where people will be able to use their mobile phones, all other areas will be made silence zones and mobile free. Rule Six: Vibrator modes to have a stronger electric charge so that people will get electrocuted with every call. Rule Seven: Betrothed couples to reveal to each other their mobile addictions if any before their wedding plans are finalised. Rule Eight: Taxation, such as imposed on liquor and cigarettes to be introduced on every word spoken by cell user. This tax will be known as Talk Tax and the money collected from this tax will be used to finance old age homes for writers and columnists, who wield more of the pen and less their tongue. Rule Nine: Street plays, dramas and newspaper ads to be used to educate people on the evils of cell talk. Former Prime Minister Blair to give talks on, If I Hadnt Talked Too Much..! Rule Ten: That it be mandatory for cell users to pass a government test on mobile usage before being given a license to use a handset, and that cell schools be started to train aspiring cell users on correct usage. Now if youve gone through this column without your phone ringing even once without you looking at it wondering why it didnt ring, sign the petition and send it pronto to the United Nations..! [email protected]