Bare airlines..!

Have just returned from New Zealand yesterday, in seats that hardly had room to seat me. According to a survey by a British holiday company, passengers are finding airline seats an increasingly tight squeeze. Two-thirds of men are too broad-shouldered for their neighbours' liking in plane seats, which are 16in wide. Women, meanwhile, have their own size problems, having put on an average of 1.5in around the hips between 1951 and 2002, and becoming broader across the shoulders!
The survey has caused aviation heads worried as they try to figure out what to do:
"We have to do something!" said the worried President of a well known airline to his colleagues as they sat together to solve the problem, "it's bad enough economy is called cattle class, we don't want it known as prison class or just jail!"
"I've an idea!" said a bright young executive as he tried to catch his boss' eye, "we could ask all the passengers to strip when they board the plane; without clothes, there would be more room in the seats!"
"And where would we store all those shirts and trousers, dresses, and suits?" asked the president with a withered look, "or do you think we could ask them to leave it outside with security along with their penknives, scissors, feeding bottles and other stuff we've becoming so good at confiscating?"
"I'm sorry sir!" said the young fellow growing all red in the face. "No my young fellow, nothing to feel sorry about," said the bearded owner of another airline company known for his unusual ways of attracting business, "maybe we could have 'all nude' flights! Fly Bare with Maiden Air! Excellent! I must tell my publicity fellers to get cracking on this!"
"That's fine with your airline!" said the CEO of a conservative airline, "what about the rest of us, we'll be stripped of our jobs if we strip passengers!"
The owners of the different airlines, their CEO's and presidents looked at each other glumly as the head of Maiden Air continued talking to his publicity people, they then watched as he smiled at them, "Yeah, I can't let you guys down after such a brilliant idea, come on lets ask Mr Smart Pants here; you're going to work fer me after this meeting boy, what's yer name by the way?"
"Charlie!"
"You got any other ideas for these guys before we leave Charlie?"
"Yeah!" said the young executive glowing he had a new job, "Fly skin or Fly thin!"
"What d'you mean?" asked his former boss angrily.
"He means, if you fly Maiden you fly with jes yer skin fer company and with yer airlines you fly thin!"
"You mean our passengers should go on a diet before boarding the plane?"
"You got it!" said the bearded owner of Maiden Air, "give all yer frequent fliers a diet plan when they book their tickets, so they'll fly thin and have more room. Come on boy lets go, I don't want you to give my competitors any more ideas, you're a brilliant feller and Maiden Air needs you. I'm putting you in charge of Nude Class..!"
[email protected]

Bare airlines..!

Have just returned from New Zealand yesterday, in seats that hardly had room to seat me. According to a survey by a British holiday company, passengers are finding airline seats an increasingly tight squeeze. Two-thirds of men are too broad-shouldered for their neighbours liking in plane seats, which are 16in wide. Women, meanwhile, have their own size problems, having put on an average of 1.5in around the hips between 1951 and 2002, and becoming broader across the shoulders! The survey has caused aviation heads worried as they try to figure out what to do: We have to do something! said the worried President of a well known airline to his colleagues as they sat together to solve the problem, its bad enough economy is called cattle class, we dont want it known as prison class or just jail! Ive an idea! said a bright young executive as he tried to catch his boss eye, we could ask all the passengers to strip when they board the plane; without clothes, there would be more room in the seats! And where would we store all those shirts and trousers, dresses, and suits? asked the president with a withered look, or do you think we could ask them to leave it outside with security along with their penknives, scissors, feeding bottles and other stuff weve becoming so good at confiscating? Im sorry sir! said the young fellow growing all red in the face. No my young fellow, nothing to feel sorry about, said the bearded owner of another airline company known for his unusual ways of attracting business, maybe we could have all nude flights! Fly Bare with Maiden Air! Excellent! I must tell my publicity fellers to get cracking on this! Thats fine with your airline! said the CEO of a conservative airline, what about the rest of us, well be stripped of our jobs if we strip passengers! The owners of the different airlines, their CEOs and presidents looked at each other glumly as the head of Maiden Air continued talking to his publicity people, they then watched as he smiled at them, Yeah, I cant let you guys down after such a brilliant idea, come on lets ask Mr Smart Pants here; youre going to work fer me after this meeting boy, whats yer name by the way? Charlie! You got any other ideas for these guys before we leave Charlie? Yeah! said the young executive glowing he had a new job, Fly skin or Fly thin! What dyou mean? asked his former boss angrily. He means, if you fly Maiden you fly with jes yer skin fer company and with yer airlines you fly thin! You mean our passengers should go on a diet before boarding the plane? You got it! said the bearded owner of Maiden Air, give all yer frequent fliers a diet plan when they book their tickets, so theyll fly thin and have more room. Come on boy lets go, I dont want you to give my competitors any more ideas, youre a brilliant feller and Maiden Air needs you. Im putting you in charge of Nude Class..! [email protected]