Home improvements..!

In the good ole days, getting your house renovated meant a team of painters having a go at your walls, messing up the air for ten days with old chunna dust and finally leaving after painting window, glass, staircase landing, flooring and door handle, all of which were never part of the contract.
Today its' different: Since I've done nothing for my flat from the time I've bought it and still feel there's nothing I have to do, I was unpleasantly surprised to find a so called interior designer at my doorstep. "You look very like the carpenter who did the downstairs flat three years ago," I said.
"I am the same man," said the former carpenter, proudly pulling out a card and handing it to me, "We all finally become interior designers. I can make your flat into a Tajmahal."
"I don't much care living in the Taj," I said.
"Then what would you like your flat to look like?"
"A home," I said wearily.
"A modern home," he pushed.
"What's the difference?" I asked.
"Neighbours envy, owners pride," he said winking at me.
"You mean you'll make my flat better than the one you did downstairs?" I asked.
"Sahib was stingy," he said, "sahib spent only ten lakhs."
"And how much will I have to spend to make sahib envious?" I whispered.
"Give or take five lakhs," he said.
"Is it generally give or is it take?" I asked sarcastically.
"You give I take," he smiled.
"What do you suggest I do?" I asked unwillingly.
"First you will have to find accommodation," he said.
"But I live here," I protested.
"Not during the year we work here," he said, "no kit- kit from the owner when we are working."
"One year?" I asked.
"Give or take a few months!"
"What will you do in a year?" I asked.
"First we will pull down all the walls."
"The building will fall down," I said.
"You will have to insure our men," said the former carpenter. "After that we will remove the flooring, the kitchen, the bathrooms.."
"What's wrong with all of them?" I asked.
"I don't know," said the interior designer, a little confused, "but everybody does that."
"But why should I?" I asked.
"Then how will you spend fifteen lakhs?" asked the still confused former carpenter.
"Why should I spend so much?" I asked.
"So that you can tell your neighbours," said the man. "We will help you little bit; we will tell everybody; twenty lakhs.."
"Did my neighbour really spend ten?" I asked.
"Give or take a few..!" said the carpenter as I slammed the door shut on his face.

[email protected]

Home improvements..!

In the good ole days, getting your house renovated meant a team of painters having a go at your walls, messing up the air for ten days with old chunna dust and finally leaving after painting window, glass, staircase landing, flooring and door handle, all of which were never part of the contract. Today its different: Since Ive done nothing for my flat from the time Ive bought it and still feel theres nothing I have to do, I was unpleasantly surprised to find a so called interior designer at my doorstep. You look very like the carpenter who did the downstairs flat three years ago, I said. I am the same man, said the former carpenter, proudly pulling out a card and handing it to me, We all finally become interior designers. I can make your flat into a Tajmahal. I dont much care living in the Taj, I said. Then what would you like your flat to look like? A home, I said wearily. A modern home, he pushed. Whats the difference? I asked. Neighbours envy, owners pride, he said winking at me. You mean youll make my flat better than the one you did downstairs? I asked. Sahib was stingy, he said, sahib spent only ten lakhs. And how much will I have to spend to make sahib envious? I whispered. Give or take five lakhs, he said. Is it generally give or is it take? I asked sarcastically. You give I take, he smiled. What do you suggest I do? I asked unwillingly. First you will have to find accommodation, he said. But I live here, I protested. Not during the year we work here, he said, no kit- kit from the owner when we are working. One year? I asked. Give or take a few months! What will you do in a year? I asked. First we will pull down all the walls. The building will fall down, I said. You will have to insure our men, said the former carpenter. After that we will remove the flooring, the kitchen, the bathrooms.. Whats wrong with all of them? I asked. I dont know, said the interior designer, a little confused, but everybody does that. But why should I? I asked. Then how will you spend fifteen lakhs? asked the still confused former carpenter. Why should I spend so much? I asked. So that you can tell your neighbours, said the man. We will help you little bit; we will tell everybody; twenty lakhs.. Did my neighbour really spend ten? I asked. Give or take a few..! said the carpenter as I slammed the door shut on his face. [email protected]