Stop hoarding, declutter your life
Amrita Sharma
Hoarding is a problem and living with a hoarder an even bigger problem, because one has no idea how to deal with it. But with a bit of understanding and cooperation, things can fall into place.
When I met Abhay, my college friend, recently, I couldnt help but mention that he looked preoccupied. On asking, he said there were some problems he was facing in his married life, which was surprising because they had got married a few months back after almost six years of dating.
She is a hoarder and I dont know what to do about it, he said, really tensed. Shes brought in so much stuff into the house that I dont know what to do. Theres no space left in my house to move about, and if I mention throwing away some old stuff she throws a fit.
Experts say that living with a partner who is a hoarder can create problems that have no simple solutions. I cant understand how he can just decide to throw away my stuff that I have saved over the years. Cant he see I am so deeply attached to them? These are part of my life and I can never part with these things, says Shweta, his wife. It was a similar case with Nayanika and Ashok. When she moved into his house after they got married, she was in for a shock. I couldnt believe that one of the rooms of his house was full of old newspapers and magazines. There were thousands of Time and Newsweek copies, Readers Digest and National Geographic, and what not. I mean, Im also a fan but now we can get it all online. But he just couldnt bring himself to part with them. I was shocked that I had to forego one whole room because of his hoarding habit, Nayanika said.
Experts say that there are many deeper issues involved when it comes to hoarding partners. They may have trouble sorting their things; they may even feel they are losing control if they have to part with their things and sometimes they may even feel emotionally at a loss if their things are taken away from them. In such cases, counsellors suggest that if you have a hoarder for a partner, then you need to first accept that he/she has an emotional problem that need to be dealt with delicately than by putting pressure and giving ultimatums.
The Indian Express
