Laughing out loud
Murphy, Collins and Vella are drinking in a pub when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at Collins, shouting,Your mums the best shag in town!Everyone expects a fight, but Collins ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and stick his nose into a pint of Guinness at the far end of the bar.Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at Collins again, and says, I just screwed your mum, and it was grand!Again Collins refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.
Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces,Your mum said it was the best thing since sliced bread!
Finally, Collins interrupts. Go home, Dad, youre pissed!
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Declan, Mick and Seamus entered their local pubs weekly raffle and to their surprise, they each won a prize:
Declan a bottle of whisky, Mick a large turkey and Seamus a toilet brush.
The next week, they met again in the pub and talked about their prizes.Declan extolled the pleasures of his smooth Irish whisky, while Mick reported that the turkey was the most delicious he had ever tasted
Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush.
It wasnt that great, he said. I think Ill go back to using paper.
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What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
Compiled from the internet
