Laughing out loud
Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?
He wanted to get a long little doggie.
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How many friend zoned guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just compliment it and then get mad when it wont screw.
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My girlfriend said to me, Im sick of you pretending to be a detective. I think we should split up.
I said, Good idea - we can cover more ground that way.
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I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me as he was dying.
It seemed very important to him that I have it.
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Thank you student loans for getting me through college.
I dont think I can ever repay you.
Compiled from the internet
