Laughing out loud
A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!
Psychiatrist: Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.
******************
Harry prays to God: Dear Lord, please make me win the lottery.
The next day Harry begs the Lord again: Please make it so I win the lottery, Lord!
The next day, Harry again prays: Please, please, dear Lord, make me win the lottery!
Suddenly he hears a voice from above: Harry, would you kindly go and buy a lottery ticket.
******************
I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle. 1
Guest at a restaurant: I refuse to eat this roastbeef. Please call the manager!
Waiter: Thats no use. He wont eat it either.
******************
Do you know why women arent allowed in space?
To avoid scenarios like: Houston, we have a problem!
What is the problem?
Yeah, great, pretend like you dont know what Im talking about!
******************
Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of luck, they find a magic genie lamp. The genie grants each of them one wish.
The first guy wishes to be back home. Wish granted.
The second guy wishes the same. Wish granted.
The third guy says, It feels very lonely here now, I wish my friends were with me Wish granted.
Compiled from the internet
