Laughing out loud
Bob left work one Friday evening.
But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, How would you like it if you didnt see me for two or three days?
He replied, That would be fine with me.
Monday went by and he didnt see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I dont know what he laced them with, but Ive been tripping all day.
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I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
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Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says I think we got this joke wrong.
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My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
Compiled from the internet
