Laughing out loud
A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.
That wont help you, Joe, you know?
Oh it helps a lot, says the man, its the only way I can see the numbers!
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How many gorillas can fit into a car?
Eight.
How many chickens can fit into the car?
None, the car is already full of gorillas.
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Bob: Holy schmoozes, I just fell off a 30 ft ladder.
Jim: No way man, are you okay?
Bob: Yeah, luckily I was just on the first step.
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Police officer: Your car is too heavily overloaded. I simply cannot let you continue like that. Im going to have to take away your drivers license.
Driver: Youre kidding me, right? The license can only weigh one ounce tops!
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Are you two twins?
No, why do you ask?
Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes.
OK thats enough, your drivers license please.
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A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his company for embezzlement of many millions. At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him: Dont worry, youll never go to jail with that amount of money.
And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, he didnt have a penny anymore.
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Man to his wife: Do you know what our 6 year old son wants to be once hes big?
Wife: No.
Man: A garbage man. And you know why?
Wife: No, why?
Man: Because he thinks they only work on Tuesdays.
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In a boutique:
Could I try the dress in the shop window, please?
Im sorry madam but no. We have cabins for that.
Compiled from the internet
