Avoiding politics at family gatherings
Family harmony and talk of politics can be combustible holiday companions, a therapist contends. A recent Reuters/Ipsos poll found that 62 percent of respondents said politics was the topic they dread most when relatives get together at the holidays. And nearly one-third said they planned to avoid the subject. No matter how you vote, its possible to maintain political peace over the holidays, said Katherine Hertlein, director of the couple and family therapy program at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas School of Medicine.
Some of her suggestions:
Lower your expectations. Dont assume family members share your opinions. Doing so can set you up for disappointment.
Seek common ground. Instead of making statements about your beliefs, ask questions in order to understand other peoples views. This could help you find areas that you agree on and increase your chances of feeling empathy.
Think before you speak. Instead of immediately responding to something you disagree with, take time to reply. For example, say you need to think about what was said.
Consider others motivations.Try to determine the reasons for someone elses beliefs, such as concern for children or the poor. Understand that their stance may reflect good intentions.
Avoid confrontation. If you think its impossible to have a civil discussion, it might be best to walk away.
Develop an exit plan prior to any conversation where you may anticipate difficulties, Hertlein said in a university news release.
Having a plan ahead of time that you may or may not choose to use returns you to feeling like you are in a sense of control, and reduces the likelihood that you will seek to obtain control through increasing the volume or intensity of your voice, she said.
Family gatherings are an important part of growing up.
Going to a family event even for just a little while can be good for your child.
These gatherings can help your child practice social skills in a safe, supportive environment.
Family gatherings can be stressful. You may be able to talk to some relatives about your childs learning and attention issues. But others may be judgmental or just not get it. The thought of dealing with your childs behavior and your familys reactions may make you feel that going to these events just isnt worth the effort.
Nurturing these bonds is important. Kids grow up quickly, and their relatives wont be around forever.
But family events can have real benefits for your child and for the rest of your relatives. If youre tempted to skip these gatherings, here are some reasons you might want to reconsider.
Some relatives may not understand your childs learning and attention issues. But there may be at least one or two people who can form a special bond with her.
Maybe its Grandma, who loves to bake cookies with your child and hear her stories about karate class. Or maybe its an uncle who has dyslexia and can offer encouraging words to your child. He might say something like, Reading was tough for me in school. But I kept at it, and I know you can, too.
Nurturing these bonds is important. Kids grow up quickly, and their relatives wont be around forever. Family gatherings can help your child learn more about where she came from. The older she gets, the more shell value this knowledge.
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