The Power is Yours

Sometimes, helplessness of a situation will engulf you and slowly deplete your strength of mind. Sometimes, despair and anguish can make you feel that you cannot breathe or it hurts to even lift your head.

Feeling unwanted? Or you feel your existence does not matter to your near and dear ones? Please take a deep breath and halt your thoughts. Pick up the phone and call your friends, family or colleagues. You have no one to talk to? Well in that case you should know that the government has a special helpline dedicated to people in need. You can call the helpline 1098 at all hours and there is always someone waiting to take your call. They will listen to you and help you. Another 24-hour helpline number, 109, exists particularly for women and children where you can get assistance if required, or someone to talk to. These numbers are all toll free.

According to child helpline coordinator Chowdhury Mohammad Mohaimen, whenever they receive a call, they immediately take necessary action to assist the caller: “We are responsible for children, so if we get a call from a depressed or suicidal child or teenager, it is our duty to respond. The first step is to get as much information as possible about the individual and his or her location. We have social welfare workers in every district and sub-district and we can immediately get in touch with the police station. We have information on how to get help in certain situations, and we get a lot of calls from parents. Our counsellors are available to talk to you at all times and are eager to help by providing counselling over the phone.”

“Sometimes, we get prank calls, still we verify to see whether an intervention is needed. I urge people to refrain from such behaviour as we are trying to help people in need and our resources are limited, so wasting our time on a wild goose chase hampers our work. We receive many calls from teenagers about abuse at home and they feel helpless, since they are facing this harassment from their near and dear ones. Our counsellors are well trained and some of them have been in this profession for over 20 years, so they are well versed in talking people out of harming themselves,” Mohaimen added.

Recent incidents of suicide indicate that we, as a society, are failing to raise emotionally resilient children. According to news reports, Jannatul Naima, daughter of Abdul Khalek, reportedly committed suicide after failing to get the desired marks in this year’s HSC (Higher School Certificate) examinations. Chirasree Zaman, 18, an A-level student and her ninth-grader brother Mohammad bin Alim, 14, hanged themselves to get away from their frustrations. Their mother, Jayasree Zaman, was raising the children on her own after her husband left the family seven years ago. The death of Zeheen Ahmed, lead guitarist of metal band Mechanix, caused quite an uproar. He was a popular guitarist and well loved by his fans.

It is evident that children, even the privileged ones, often suffer from emotional injuries. Children are the most vulnerable and are susceptible to picking up negativity from their surroundings. Children can experience disappointment on a daily basis, just like adults do. It can be at home, perhaps due to a critical remark from a parent or a caregiver, who is a child’s anchor. Frustration and failure, criticism and disapproval, or exclusion by peers, any of these factors may be the cause of emotional injuries. Moments of anger and misunderstanding are a part of everyday life and it is important for parents to recognise emotional injuries, and give time to their children so that they heal from their discouragement and anger. More often than not, a simple recognition of their dissatisfaction or disturbance is all that is required.

“It is crucial to let your child know that you are there for him or her,” S Z Rezina Parvin, who specialises in counselling and psychotherapy as well as child development and neurodisability, told The Weekend Independent.  “Important life lessons are learned through moments of repair and we gain knowledge on how to cope with anxiety, sadness and anger. It is our duty to teach our children that feelings of anger and unfairness are passing emotions and do not last forever. They should be taught that disappointment is a part of life, and how to deal with it. You should never ignore your child’s tendency of self harm. If you notice that your child tries to hurt themselves, acknowledge it as a problem and have a talk with him or her. It is unwise to deal with it as a passing incident. Seek help if necessary. A little remark from a parent may lead a child to believe that his or her existence may be a burden for the parent and they may start to develop suicidal thoughts.”

“Let me be clear, suicide is a thought process. If a person has attempted it or has thought of it, there is a possibility that they will follow through with what they are thinking. Attempted cases are very risky as they might try it again if that thought process is triggered. They should attend regular counselling sessions and learn to deal with the triggering elements. In most cases, parents and guardians try to conceal all the facts and get initial treatment and then take the patient home. That is not a healthy practice. The hospitals refer attempted cases to psychiatrists, or suggest psychotherapy and family support. I have heard many a husband say: ‘She is just threatening me; she will not go ahead with it’. These kinds of comments incite an already depressed person who has given up on life. It is crucial to refrain from causing provocation unintentionally,” the therapist said.  

“Among teenagers, self harm is prevalent among those who are involved in troubled relationships. I got a case where the girl would cut herself and then her boyfriend would do the same, to hurt each other. Teasing by parents, siblings and peers may lead a person to believe that their existence is not necessary. Often, the slow learners face ignorance or less attention from the family and are neglected. These children grow up with lots of unmet needs and the feeling of hopelessness. Many a time I hear from these types of patients that: ‘I cannot do anything right’ or ‘I am not good at anything.’ These symptoms should not be ignored. These early emotional injuries may cause a person to grow up and be prone to depression,” she added.  

Muhammad Kamal Uddin, professor of Psychology at Dhaka University, said one of the most important branches of his chosen subject is school psychology, which, if implemented, may reduce the burden of other branches of psychology.

“It helps to diagnose for early intervention of academic, emotional, familial, social and other problems of learners at any school level (primary through secondary and tertiary). Prolonged depression, bullying and sexual harassment can make a person take the leap. If students are screened at school level, suicide incidents among youths may be prevented. Suicide awareness should be a collective initiative by both state and private stakeholders and it should also be treated as a public health concern,” Kamal Uddin said.

In Bangladesh, attempted suicide is a punishable offence. In a telephone conversation, Mazharul Islam, officer in charge (OC) of Tejgaon police station, said: “We follow penal code (section) 305 Abetment of suicide of a child or insane person, (section) 306 Abetment of suicide and (section) 309 Attempt to commit suicide. Section 309 states that whoever attempts to commit suicide and does any act towards the commission of such offence, shall be punished with simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year, or a fine, or both. During my stint as OC here, I have yet to come across a 309 case. But 306 (abetment of suicide) cases are common.”

Kaan Pete Roi is an organisation that has been working to create suicide prevention awareness since 2012. It offers an emotional support helpline, staffed by trained volunteers. People can call to receive immediate emergency counselling. The mission of the helpline is to alleviate feelings of despair, isolation, distress, and suicidal feelings among members of the community. This is accomplished through confidential, compassionate and open-minded listening. Helplines like this exist in over 40 nations in the world and play an important role in suicide prevention and the promotion of mental health.

After everything has been said and done, it is important to remember that you should matter to you and in case of hard times, giving up is not the solution. Disappointment, anger, sorrow are passing emotions, letting go is the key and seeking psychological help is not shameful. It helps in building emotional resilience and equips you to deal with day-to-day inconveniences. Remember, the power is yours.

Photos: Internet

The Power is Yours

Sometimes, helplessness of a situation will engulf you and slowly deplete your strength of mind. Sometimes, despair and anguish can make you feel that you cannot breathe or it hurts to even lift your head. Feeling unwanted? Or you feel your existence does not matter to your near and dear ones? Please take a deep breath and halt your thoughts. Pick up the phone and call your friends, family or colleagues. You have no one to talk to? Well in that case you should know that the government has a special helpline dedicated to people in need. You can call the helpline 1098 at all hours and there is always someone waiting to take your call. They will listen to you and help you. Another 24-hour helpline number, 109, exists particularly for women and children where you can get assistance if required, or someone to talk to. These numbers are all toll free. According to child helpline coordinator Chowdhury Mohammad Mohaimen, whenever they receive a call, they immediately take necessary action to assist the caller: We are responsible for children, so if we get a call from a depressed or suicidal child or teenager, it is our duty to respond. The first step is to get as much information as possible about the individual and his or her location. We have social welfare workers in every district and sub-district and we can immediately get in touch with the police station. We have information on how to get help in certain situations, and we get a lot of calls from parents. Our counsellors are available to talk to you at all times and are eager to help by providing counselling over the phone. Sometimes, we get prank calls, still we verify to see whether an intervention is needed. I urge people to refrain from such behaviour as we are trying to help people in need and our resources are limited, so wasting our time on a wild goose chase hampers our work. We receive many calls from teenagers about abuse at home and they feel helpless, since they are facing this harassment from their near and dear ones. Our counsellors are well trained and some of them have been in this profession for over 20 years, so they are well versed in talking people out of harming themselves, Mohaimen added. Recent incidents of suicide indicate that we, as a society, are failing to raise emotionally resilient children. According to news reports, Jannatul Naima, daughter of Abdul Khalek, reportedly committed suicide after failing to get the desired marks in this years HSC (Higher School Certificate) examinations. Chirasree Zaman, 18, an A-level student and her ninth-grader brother Mohammad bin Alim, 14, hanged themselves to get away from their frustrations. Their mother, Jayasree Zaman, was raising the children on her own after her husband left the family seven years ago. The death of Zeheen Ahmed, lead guitarist of metal band Mechanix, caused quite an uproar. He was a popular guitarist and well loved by his fans. It is evident that children, even the privileged ones, often suffer from emotional injuries. Children are the most vulnerable and are susceptible to picking up negativity from their surroundings. Children can experience disappointment on a daily basis, just like adults do. It can be at home, perhaps due to a critical remark from a parent or a caregiver, who is a childs anchor. Frustration and failure, criticism and disapproval, or exclusion by peers, any of these factors may be the cause of emotional injuries. Moments of anger and misunderstanding are a part of everyday life and it is important for parents to recognise emotional injuries, and give time to their children so that they heal from their discouragement and anger. More often than not, a simple recognition of their dissatisfaction or disturbance is all that is required. It is crucial to let your child know that you are there for him or her, S Z Rezina Parvin, who specialises in counselling and psychotherapy as well as child development and neurodisability, told The Weekend Independent. Important life lessons are learned through moments of repair and we gain knowledge on how to cope with anxiety, sadness and anger. It is our duty to teach our children that feelings of anger and unfairness are passing emotions and do not last forever. They should be taught that disappointment is a part of life, and how to deal with it. You should never ignore your childs tendency of self harm. If you notice that your child tries to hurt themselves, acknowledge it as a problem and have a talk with him or her. It is unwise to deal with it as a passing incident. Seek help if necessary. A little remark from a parent may lead a child to believe that his or her existence may be a burden for the parent and they may start to develop suicidal thoughts. Let me be clear, suicide is a thought process. If a person has attempted it or has thought of it, there is a possibility that they will follow through with what they are thinking. Attempted cases are very risky as they might try it again if that thought process is triggered. They should attend regular counselling sessions and learn to deal with the triggering elements. In most cases, parents and guardians try to conceal all the facts and get initial treatment and then take the patient home. That is not a healthy practice. The hospitals refer attempted cases to psychiatrists, or suggest psychotherapy and family support. I have heard many a husband say: She is just threatening me; she will not go ahead with it. These kinds of comments incite an already depressed person who has given up on life. It is crucial to refrain from causing provocation unintentionally, the therapist said. Among teenagers, self harm is prevalent among those who are involved in troubled relationships. I got a case where the girl would cut herself and then her boyfriend would do the same, to hurt each other. Teasing by parents, siblings and peers may lead a person to believe that their existence is not necessary. Often, the slow learners face ignorance or less attention from the family and are neglected. These children grow up with lots of unmet needs and the feeling of hopelessness. Many a time I hear from these types of patients that: I cannot do anything right or I am not good at anything. These symptoms should not be ignored. These early emotional injuries may cause a person to grow up and be prone to depression, she added. Muhammad Kamal Uddin, professor of Psychology at Dhaka University, said one of the most important branches of his chosen subject is school psychology, which, if implemented, may reduce the burden of other branches of psychology. It helps to diagnose for early intervention of academic, emotional, familial, social and other problems of learners at any school level (primary through secondary and tertiary). Prolonged depression, bullying and sexual harassment can make a person take the leap. If students are screened at school level, suicide incidents among youths may be prevented. Suicide awareness should be a collective initiative by both state and private stakeholders and it should also be treated as a public health concern, Kamal Uddin said. In Bangladesh, attempted suicide is a punishable offence. In a telephone conversation, Mazharul Islam, officer in charge (OC) of Tejgaon police station, said: We follow penal code (section) 305 Abetment of suicide of a child or insane person, (section) 306 Abetment of suicide and (section) 309 Attempt to commit suicide. Section 309 states that whoever attempts to commit suicide and does any act towards the commission of such offence, shall be punished with simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year, or a fine, or both. During my stint as OC here, I have yet to come across a 309 case. But 306 (abetment of suicide) cases are common. Kaan Pete Roi is an organisation that has been working to create suicide prevention awareness since 2012. It offers an emotional support helpline, staffed by trained volunteers. People can call to receive immediate emergency counselling. The mission of the helpline is to alleviate feelings of despair, isolation, distress, and suicidal feelings among members of the community. This is accomplished through confidential, compassionate and open-minded listening. Helplines like this exist in over 40 nations in the world and play an important role in suicide prevention and the promotion of mental health. After everything has been said and done, it is important to remember that you should matter to you and in case of hard times, giving up is not the solution. Disappointment, anger, sorrow are passing emotions, letting go is the key and seeking psychological help is not shameful. It helps in building emotional resilience and equips you to deal with day-to-day inconveniences. Remember, the power is yours. Photos: Internet