The rare American..!

Now with the safest country in the world finding that it's citizens are not safe anywhere but at home, my cousin, the manager of a five star hotel was telling me the American tourist is now quite a rare sight, "What with them fighting the rest of the world, the American doesn't want to stray out of his country as he's a target for anyone with catapult or machine gun! But they were great fellers Bob!" he said and his eyes grew misty.
"They treated you well!" I said.
"A dollar to the doorman, five for room service, ten to the girl at the front desk, two to the fellow who shined their shoes! T'was smiles all around and when they were around we hummed the Star Spangled Banner all the time!"
"Any chance they'll be back?" I asked and felt sorry for his crest fallen face.
The phone buzzed on his desk and his face lit up. "There's an American at the counter downstairs!" he whispered to me and then shouted, "get some garlands, yeah fresh flowers; the works! Keep Him in the lobby till you fit in the king size bed in his room! Start playing his national anthem on all the channels! Yeah I'll be down in a moment!"
We rushed down the stairs and I watched my cousin changing into his pink striped jacket which he kept only for important guests and when his wife visited the hotel. We ran into the lobby and then slowed down as we approached the counter. "That's an American!" said my cousin and I looked with awe at relic so revered. I listened to the conversation and found I couldn't follow a word, "What's he saying?" I whispered.
"They always talk in pidgin English hoping people understand them!" whispered my cousin back to me.
The shoeshine boy who had also heard the news whispered that the American looked the type who would give more than a dollar tip. "They love their whiskey neat or have their martinis very dry!" said the bartender who had stopped tending his bar and had come rushing to the lobby to look longingly at the American.
"Look at his camera!" I said with awe.
"They're always clicking everything!" grinned my cousin affectionately, "they've got more snaps of me with this pink coat than I have!"
The girl at the counter suddenly blushed at something the American said. "They love flirting with our women!" said the bartender, "if this one plays her cards right she may get her meal ticket to America!"
The lobby was soon packed with newspapermen and cameramen who were causing a stampede trying to get a shot of the rare tourist, who whispered to me in pidgin English, "You speakee English?" I nodded. "I makee mistake, I should have stayee home!"he sobbed looking at his empty wallet.
    [email protected]

The rare American..!

Now with the safest country in the world finding that its citizens are not safe anywhere but at home, my cousin, the manager of a five star hotel was telling me the American tourist is now quite a rare sight, What with them fighting the rest of the world, the American doesnt want to stray out of his country as hes a target for anyone with catapult or machine gun! But they were great fellers Bob! he said and his eyes grew misty. They treated you well! I said. A dollar to the doorman, five for room service, ten to the girl at the front desk, two to the fellow who shined their shoes! Twas smiles all around and when they were around we hummed the Star Spangled Banner all the time! Any chance theyll be back? I asked and felt sorry for his crest fallen face. The phone buzzed on his desk and his face lit up. Theres an American at the counter downstairs! he whispered to me and then shouted, get some garlands, yeah fresh flowers; the works! Keep Him in the lobby till you fit in the king size bed in his room! Start playing his national anthem on all the channels! Yeah Ill be down in a moment! We rushed down the stairs and I watched my cousin changing into his pink striped jacket which he kept only for important guests and when his wife visited the hotel. We ran into the lobby and then slowed down as we approached the counter. Thats an American! said my cousin and I looked with awe at relic so revered. I listened to the conversation and found I couldnt follow a word, Whats he saying? I whispered. They always talk in pidgin English hoping people understand them! whispered my cousin back to me. The shoeshine boy who had also heard the news whispered that the American looked the type who would give more than a dollar tip. They love their whiskey neat or have their martinis very dry! said the bartender who had stopped tending his bar and had come rushing to the lobby to look longingly at the American. Look at his camera! I said with awe. Theyre always clicking everything! grinned my cousin affectionately, theyve got more snaps of me with this pink coat than I have! The girl at the counter suddenly blushed at something the American said. They love flirting with our women! said the bartender, if this one plays her cards right she may get her meal ticket to America! The lobby was soon packed with newspapermen and cameramen who were causing a stampede trying to get a shot of the rare tourist, who whispered to me in pidgin English, You speakee English? I nodded. I makee mistake, I should have stayee home!he sobbed looking at his empty wallet. [email protected]