Not expecting perfection..!

A writer arrived at a monastery to write a book about the master. "People say you are a genius. Are you?" he asked.    
"You might say so," said the master none too modestly.
"And what makes one a genius?"
"The ability to recognize," said the master.
"Recognize what?"
"The butterfly in a caterpillar; the eagle in an egg; the saint in a selfish human being!" said the master with a smile.
How true, isn't it?
How often we fail to look beyond the façade! How often we are put off by something annoying we see in another and later realize how foolish we were that if we had only seen farther we would have beheld a heart of gold.
Author Francine Klagsbrun asked a select group of successfully married couples the secrets of their happy marriages. Often they replied, "We don't expect perfection." Even though their spouses had qualities they would like to see changed, they had learned to accept those qualities because, as one woman said, "The payoff is so great
in others areas."
Former president Jimmy Carter discovered a surprising benefit when he chose NOT to try to change his spouse. He once told how NOT criticizing Rosalyn actually enhanced his marriage (READER'S DIGEST, July 1989). This is what
he said:
"Perhaps because of my Navy training, punctuality has been almost an obsession. Rosalyn has always been adequately punctual, except by my standards. A deviation of five minutes or less in our departure time would cause a bitter exchange.
"One morning I realized it was Rosalyn's birthday and I hadn't brought her a present. What could I do that would be special for her? I hurriedly wrote a note: 'Happy birthday! As proof of my love, I will never make an unpleasant comment about tardiness.' I signed it and delivered it in an envelope, with a kiss.
"More than four years later, I still keep my promise. It has turned out to be one of the nicest birthday presents for Rosalyn -- and for me."
His last sentence is telling. It turned out good for Rosalyn AND for him! The surprising benefit of accepting others without wishing that they were different is that you, too, will be happier.
What a wonderful present to give to somebody -- complete and unconditional acceptance!
And its just too good a gift to wait for a birthday isn't it?
How soon will you also see a butterfly in a caterpillar; an eagle in an egg; a saint in a selfish human being?
    bobsbanter@gmail.com­

Not expecting perfection..!

A writer arrived at a monastery to write a book about the master. People say you are a genius. Are you? he asked. You might say so, said the master none too modestly. And what makes one a genius? The ability to recognize, said the master. Recognize what? The butterfly in a caterpillar; the eagle in an egg; the saint in a selfish human being! said the master with a smile. How true, isnt it? How often we fail to look beyond the faade! How often we are put off by something annoying we see in another and later realize how foolish we were that if we had only seen farther we would have beheld a heart of gold. Author Francine Klagsbrun asked a select group of successfully married couples the secrets of their happy marriages. Often they replied, We dont expect perfection. Even though their spouses had qualities they would like to see changed, they had learned to accept those qualities because, as one woman said, The payoff is so great in others areas. Former president Jimmy Carter discovered a surprising benefit when he chose NOT to try to change his spouse. He once told how NOT criticizing Rosalyn actually enhanced his marriage (READERS DIGEST, July 1989). This is what he said: Perhaps because of my Navy training, punctuality has been almost an obsession. Rosalyn has always been adequately punctual, except by my standards. A deviation of five minutes or less in our departure time would cause a bitter exchange. One morning I realized it was Rosalyns birthday and I hadnt brought her a present. What could I do that would be special for her? I hurriedly wrote a note: Happy birthday! As proof of my love, I will never make an unpleasant comment about tardiness. I signed it and delivered it in an envelope, with a kiss. More than four years later, I still keep my promise. It has turned out to be one of the nicest birthday presents for Rosalyn -- and for me. His last sentence is telling. It turned out good for Rosalyn AND for him! The surprising benefit of accepting others without wishing that they were different is that you, too, will be happier. What a wonderful present to give to somebody -- complete and unconditional acceptance! And its just too good a gift to wait for a birthday isnt it? How soon will you also see a butterfly in a caterpillar; an eagle in an egg; a saint in a selfish human being? bobsbanter@gmail.com